What Role Does Emotional Intelligence Play in Parenting?

Do you want to be a good parent but feel overwhelmed? Are you tired of yelling and aren't sure why you started yelling in the first place? Emotional intelligent parenting is a great place to start.

Have you ever noticed that your childhood seems to surface in your mind after having children? Are you easily triggered and find yourself yelling at your kids or using parenting techniques your parents used that you swore you wouldn't? You are not alone! When we have kids, it is like looking into a mirror. Our kids can bring out so much and highlight all the things we once stuffed down in hopes they would never resurface.

Emotionally intelligent parenting

What does emotional intelligence have to do with parenting? A lot! Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand yourself and regulate your emotions, as well as help with conflict management skills, leadership skills, empathy, and motivation.

Emotional intelligent parenting empowers us to become exceptional parents by enabling us to identify our triggers, maintain composure for ourselves and our children, handle conflicts effectively, show empathy, and foster self-motivation in both ourselves and our kids.

Know your triggers

Knowing our own triggers is so helpful and a huge part of emotional intelligent parenting. If we know what we loved and hated as kids and what our partner loved and hated, we can start setting intentions and boundaries in our parenting. For example, you can set rules like "no TV," "no yelling," or "I want to have dinner together as a family." 

By knowing what triggers us, we can step out when we need to, and our partners or other support can step in. For instance, if lots of noise triggers you, you don't have to buy noisy toys, or if your child gets invited to a birthday party, you can send your partner along instead.

Breathwork and visualisation techniques for self-regulation

Being emotionally intelligent in self- or inner regulation is a game changer when it comes to parenting. Did you know that until our children are eight years old, their brains need to co-regulate, meaning they cannot calm down on their own? This means they use our nervous system to support them in calming down. 

Has your child ever had an emotional outburst in public and you struggled to stay calm yourself? You are NOT alone. Regulation under stress is hard! But if we can learn the skills, our kids will calm down much faster, and the best part is, we will feel better. My pro tip is to practise breathwork and visualisation daily until it becomes second nature, so you can access these techniques under stress.

Who feels like parenting is the same as being a hostage negotiator?! I definitely feel like this in the toddler stage, LOL! But in all seriousness, conflict happens and being able to manage conflict effectively within your partnership and with your kids is incredibly important. Life gets so much easier when we understand why conflict happens and how to navigate it effectively. 

If you'd like more information on conflict management, check out my webinar or blog posts on this area.

Empathy is a game changer in parenting

One of the best ways to support yourself in managing conflict and creating a healthy, happy home is by understanding and having empathy. Empathy is more than feeling for someone. It is a way to really hold space and see someone. When we empathise with others, we leave our feelings aside. We listen to them and imagine what something is like from their perspective. 

Empathy is a GAME CHANGER in parenting. Why? Because we often forget that our kids are little people with their own subjective experiences. Knowing where they are coming from and what they are experiencing can help you navigate parenting healthily and smoothly. The best part is that your kids will feel safe and heard at home and more likely to feel confident and unapologetically themselves!

Lastly, emotional intelligence can help you and your kids gain intrinsic motivation. It enables you to find your purpose while supporting your kids in finding theirs. With intrinsic motivation, you enjoy the journey and are not just focused on the destination. 

My favourite way to start this process is to create a family vision board. This is a great way to make a plan together for what you all want your family to look like—one that will generate excitement and motivation amidst the day-to-day grind of life.

Now that we've explored the significance of EQ within family life and shared these quick tips on how to begin cultivating emotional intelligence as a parent, are you ready for more? If so, give my course a go. I promise you won't be disappointed, and if you are, you can get your money back, no questions asked. Let's grow together!

Follow me on Instagram @raising_eq for more parenting tips and advice or go to my website and download my course, Bringing Emotional Intelligence into the Home.