Self-Care: What Does It Even Mean?

Self-care is a psychology buzzword that seems to be used more and more these days. But what is self-care, and how does one procure it?

As parents, we are often encouraged to engage in self-care. But when people talk about going to the grocery store alone as an act of self-care, the concept gets confusing. Is this somehow supposed to make us happy?! Well, I am here to tell you that doing a chore is not self-care.

The real definition of self-care is engaging in an activity that makes you feel fulfilled and energised. To explain self-care, I like to use the analogy of putting your oxygen mask on first before helping others.

If you have ever taken a plane ride, you'll know that during the safety videos, they use this phrase to ensure your and your child's safety. If you don't put on your oxygen mask first, there is a significant risk of losing consciousness before you can help your children. This analogy is incredibly important, especially when it comes to our overall health and wellness. Why, you ask? Because if we don't fill our own cup, we will burn out and burn out fast. 

New parent burnout

Have you ever felt like you have given so much to your friends, work or family that you literally have no more to give? This feeling is common and can be why so many people want to throw in the towel or stop enjoying being a partner, friend or parent. However, I have great news. There is a cure for burnout, and it starts with you! 

It may take work because we are not used to putting ourselves first, but it can be done. Also, the more you do this, the easier it gets. Self-care is self-awareness or paying attention to your feelings and needs in order to fill yourself up with energy to, in turn, be able to better care for those around you. Yes, your kiddos. 

Wouldn't it be nice to enjoy your time with them rather than feel exhausted?! I agree. Therefore, this week I have decided to help you focus on caring for yourself before anyone else. Yes, you! Before anyone else, and that includes the dog! This practice can be a struggle, believe me. 

As a psychologist, I often feel that giving to others is much easier than taking care of myself. However, I find that by caring for myself first, I can give so much more to my clients and my family. The first step is to take some time and ask yourself the following questions. Remember, there are no wrong answers, as everyone is an individual.

Questions to support you with self-care:

What gives me energy? (alone time, exercise, seeing friends) How often do I need to engage in energy-giving activities to feel fully charged? (daily, weekly, 10 min, an hour) How would the person I want to be, spend their time?

What support do I need to engage in activities that give me energy? (Need a partner to step in on household or childcare duties? A babysitter, friend or neighbour?) How can I ask for that support? What can my partner and I do to support one another in filling our cups?

By prioritising self-care, we can recharge emotionally and physically, ensuring we have the energy and patience to care for our little ones. Whether it's finding moments for relaxation, pursuing hobbies, seeking support from loved ones, or simply taking a break, self-care helps prevent burnout and promotes overall well-being. 

Remember, a nurtured parent is better equipped to create a loving and secure environment, supporting their child's healthy development. Embrace self-care as a gift to yourself and your family, paving the way for a fulfilling and rewarding parenting journey.

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