Halloween: The Fun, The Scary and The Candy

Halloween can be so much fun, but it can also be very triggering. I love Halloween; however, I have distinct memories of being terrified of it when I was young. Here are a few easy EQ tips to help prepare your child for Halloween.

 I have never liked masks, and I remember my sisters purposefully putting on the scary mask costumes that lived in our basement just to make me cry. Sisters can be so mean sometimes! I also remember loving the excitement of filling my pillowcase with candy that would last me all year long and being able to choose my costume and help my mom sew it. Yes, I was lucky. I had one of those crafty moms! I feel so bad for my daughter as I will never be able to make her the costumes my mom made me.

How to prepare your child for Halloween

Now that I am an adult, a mama, and a psychologist, I work with families on the importance of using emotionally intelligent parenting when it comes to events or holidays such as Halloween. How can emotional intelligence help prepare your child for Halloween? It can support you in acknowledging your feelings and coping skills and guide you in making decisions as parents regarding your family values. EQ can also help you ensure your children have a positive and reassuring Halloween experience.

I love utilising the skills we learn and continue to hone as emotionally intelligent parents. These tips will help you prepare your child for Halloween, whether they're toddlers or teenagers.

Self-assessment

First of all, let's take a minute and step back. Earlier, I talked about my childhood memories and how it shaped my experience of Halloween. In my house, growing up, we were not restricted when it came to candy. Like most '80s kids (yes, I just gave you a clue about my age!), we didn't know about sugar, fake dyes, and people putting bad stuff into the candy. My parents let my sisters wear masks and scare me as they didn't realise how scary it was for me. All these experiences shaped how I feel about Halloween, which is an important first step to acknowledge.

How do you and your partner feel about Halloween? Do you have any "no ways" or "I really want to do it this way"? Exploring your own desires and boundaries around holidays and occasions like these is so important. Once you have them, talk about them with your partner and make a plan well ahead of the day. Remember to talk about the essential coping skills you used as a child or lack thereof and the coping skills you can use when your children need your support this Halloween.

Know your kids

Take some time and think about your kids the way you thought about your own experiences. Do you have a highly sensitive or highly impulsive child? Does your child get scared easily? Are they able to handle the sugar and excitement of the day?

Once you think about each of your children, think about their go-to coping skills or the self-regulation skills that work for them. Do they calm down by breathing or taking sensory breaks? Would they benefit from some healthy snacks while running from house to house? Could they use support saying, "trick or treat"? Maybe they would benefit from a bath or shower to calm down and transition to bedtime once the fun is over. The idea here is to think about yourself and each of your kids.

Make a plan

Once you've thought about yourself and your children, it's time to MAKE A PLAN!

I know, I know. It seems like a simple idea, but it is an important part of creating a happy Halloween or holiday experience. Talking to your parenting partner about what the day will look like and how you can collectively provide support to both yourselves and your children will create a conducive environment for everyone to enjoy the day in a way that suits them best.

Trick or treating tips for parents

You could split up and take the children out to different places, or one of you could stay home with a child who would rather hand out candy at the door. When we plan out what's best for our children and ourselves, we're more inclined to stick to those intentions.

Connect and communicate

Now that you have a plan, it's time to connect with your kids and communicate it. Create a safe place for your children to express their feelings about the plan. Once you connect and communicate, it's crucial to continue sharing details of the plan and boundaries around it in the days leading up to the event. This is important even for teens but essential for the littlest trick-or-treaters. We often think toddlers "don't understand," but they do, and the more preparation they receive, the better their behaviour and the less emotional dysregulation they'll experience.

Get in touch

Do you feel ready this year? Do you have a favourite tradition surrounding Halloween? Drop me an email. I would love to hear about it.

If you found this blog helpful, please share it and remember to subscribe to my newsletter for the most up-to-date advice and weekly EQ tips!

Dr. H