What is Thought Stopping, And Why Does It Work?
Sometimes on my Instagram, I highlight an important cognitive behavioural therapy technique called 'thought stopping.' So many of you have shown an interest in this method that I've decided to delve deeper into what it is and explain how it can help your kids control their emotions.
What is thought stopping?
Thought stopping is a tool that can support us in controlling our impulses by flipping a negative thought or behavioural pattern around into a positive one.
We have so much more control over our thoughts and feelings than we realise, and that is because it often feels as though our thoughts control us. Have you ever noticed that you respond impulsively when you experience a trigger? Do you become defensive and reactive when your partner says something that triggers you? You aren't alone!
Controlling our impulses takes time and learning this skill is so important. We can control our behaviour by 'catching and reframing' our thoughts before they make us feel a certain way.
Identifying our triggers when they happen
One way to do this is to notice when a trigger happens and reframe it then and there:
"Ugh, the dishwasher is full again and my partner didn't empty it. They never help me."
Before letting this negative thought take over, you need to notice it:
"I am feeling a bit overwhelmed at the moment."
Then, reframe it:
"My partner and I are both busy and trying our best. We are working towards our higher purpose. I can ask them to help me empty it tonight."
By doing this, we have skipped the negative thought cycle and reframed what a full dishwasher can mean and how we can make emptying it much less painful together later.
This tool is so useful for helping your kids avoid emotional outbursts. If you see them starting to struggle, support them in thought stopping and reframing as quickly as you can.
I hope you find this diagram and the tips helpful! Remember to subscribe if you want to see my next blog post. – Dr. H
Follow me on Instagram: @raising_eq.